This latest Blathering comes from events at work. My good friend Jen and I went to get sushi from Whole Foods for lunch, and while we were there, Jen picked up a box of lemon cookies. We each ate one on the way back to work, and they were GOOD. So we started with eight cookies - now we're down to six. I couldn't wait for mine, so after lunch I had my remaining three. So only three left. Jen eats two of hers, and I happen to tell her that Megan would love these because she loves lemon flavored desserts. So Jen donates her last cookie to give to Megan - and she even emails her to let her know I'm bringing it home, in case I decided to eat it myself.

So that night Jen relates all this to her boyfriend Chris, and he asks, "Well, where's my cookie?" and she blames it on me! So to get even, we started going back and forth blaming each other.

But I think I won the match with this entry.

offer you, gentle reader, a tale, a tale of two cookies.

Forsooth, a tale of eight cookies, but what difference is there?

It is also a tale of lies.

Lies, deception and deceit most foul.

ur story begins in the local market where Sir Andrew the Righteous and Lady Gwynhfar the Odious did peruse the shopkeepers wares for foodstuffs to sup on during their midday luncheon meal.

"Hail and well met, good Fishwife! How does the day find your wares?" Said Andrew.

"Fresh and sweet, good sir!" replied the fishwife.

"Good! I am hungry!" snarled Lady Gwynhfar. "Fix me some fish rolls, and make them fat and tender!"

The frightened fishwife cowed under the baleful gaze of Lady Gwynhfar and hurriedly began preparing the fishrolls.

Sir Andrew leaned towards the fishwife conspiratorially, "Please pay her no mind, madam. Yon Lady has been in a mood most sour lately. Rumor has it that Lord Dayvis has been cuckolded by her shrewness. He is beside himself with grief that she lays upon his already burdened brow."

The fishwife winked at Sir Andrew and rolled in some extra fish in the rolls she prepared for him.

Just then, Lady Gwynhfar stormed back from the baker. "Sir Andrew! Do look upon what the baker 'gave' me! Lemon cookies! Ha ha!"

Sir Andrew knew that he would have to make amends with the poor baker that she had browbeaten until he felt compelled to give her the cookies. Sir Andrew was always soothing feelings hurt and ears burnt by her acid tongue.

hey took their fish rolls and lemon cookies and made haste back to the castle. On the way, Lady Gwynhfar offered Sir Andrew one of the cookies. "You must try one!" She cackled. "But only take one! The rest are all for me!"

Sir Andrew took the proffered cookie and placed the pastry in his mouth. "Good heavens!" cried he. "This truly be a confection of the angels!"

"Are they not scrumptious?! But take no more! They are all mine!"

nce at the castle, they made haste to the dining room and dined upon their bounty from the sea.

When they were finished, Sir Andrew asked kindly, "Good Lady, perchance, might I have another one of your lemon cookies? They are so dainty and fair, just like you."

"Hee hee!" replied the easily flattered and dimwitted Gwynhfar. "Well, if you must. But the rest are mine!"

Sir Andrew saw an opportunity to help his Lord Dayvis. "Milady, surely your loyal husband might enjoy these sumptuous cookies. If I may be so humble as to suggest you bring him one for they are truly delicious and he would adore you all the more for them."

"No!" cried Gwynhfar! "No, no, a thousand times no! I will eat them all and I will blame YOU for it! You will get the blame and Lord Dayvis will hate YOU!"

"But Milady! Please! I pray thee! Lord Dayvis shall be ever so cross with me if he thinks it was I, his faithful knight who didst eat his cookies! Will you not reconsider your devious plan?"

"No, Sir Andrew. They are my cookies and I shall eat them all!" she shouted triumphantly. "Every last one of them will be mine to enjoy and you shall be forced into servitude once I tell my false tale to my Lord Dayvis!"

"Your nefarious plan will not come to fruition, foul harpy! I will have my paige send a message to Lord Dayvis clearing my good name!"

"But you forget, good sir knight, that it is I who receives all messengers and I will merely send yours away!"

nd thus, our hero was forced to endure Lady Gwynhfar's taunting and torture all the rest of his days.